Out of control teens require intervention to learn how to succeed
From the first breath at birth, the last thought on a parent’s mind is that someday he or she will literally be at war with the bundle of joy held in the arms. Few experiences in life prepare us for the joy and elation that the birth of a son or daughter brings his or her parents. However, a decade or so later, something causes teens to go out of control. Teens all act a bit strange, but it is not normal when it runs for months. No longer is there anything negotiable, discipline is out the window, and arguing or yelling replaces almost all conversation. At that point, it is the responsibility of a parent to get help. To enjoy the benefits of the good life, out of control teens, and their parents, need time out to get lives under control in responsibilities, academics and coping skills.
When personal responsibility goes out the window
Out of control teens need to learn (or relearn) personal and family responsibilities to prepare to rear the next generation. Most parents eventually learn that yelling at anyone, especially a teenager, never works. No matter how hard a person yells or how loud an argument becomes, it is not possible for either side to win. Yelling simply does not communicate anything productive. When you find that your conversations with your teen son are always loud and never productive, it is your responsibility to seek help. No relationship will ever improve as long as the yelling continues.
Two methods to regain appropriate behavior
At Arivaca Boys Ranch, one of our first priorities is to teach personal responsibility and improved interpersonal behavior. One way that is done is through equine therapy. Out of control teens soon learn that no matter what tantrum they throw, or how loud they yell at a horse, a horse will not do what the teen wants until his approach changes. Horses simply teach that lesson quicker than people do. A horse becomes a wonderful companion and very satisfying to work with once behavioral strategies change and the approach becomes friendly, supportive and cordial.
Additionally, group and individual counseling helps teens vent frustrations and lean new methods for dealing with those frustrations. During the parts of the adolescent phase of human development, that is something that is almost impossible for any parent to do.
Recovering loss school and improving academic behavior is another priority
Out of control teens are leave themselves behind in academic performance and special attention is needed to bring them back up to speed. Living in modern society requires a teen to learn the skills and judgment to find meaningful employment. Not every teen will be college bound and not every teen will be adept at the trades; however, without one or the other, a teen is only prepared to live in poverty or prison. When a teen begins failing in school, sometimes even intentionally, a parent’s time is up. It is time for expert intervention. At Arivaca Boys Ranch, we host a fully accredited high school program with plenty of one-on-one problem solving coaching coupled with behavioral mentoring. As with equine therapy, the success at academics does not come about until the approach to learning has been modified. In full, school year programs (ten months or longer) students have the opportunity to get help in catching up and even surpassing his level in academic performance.
Not learning how to cope with the stresses of life is the biggest loss
Out of control teens have lost the memories needed to adapt appropriate coping skills to life. The cooperation that is generally part of a young person’s development, and the willingness to please parents and others seems to disappear in some teens for some reason. Try as a parent might, figuring out just when that happened or why, continues to elude most. How to correct that shortfall does not elude our counselors. Through both group and individual counseling, your sons who have become out of control teens soon relearn the ways to appropriately respond to stress, frustrations and failures. Relearning that part of life’s lessons is very important to their future well-being as adults.
Making productive adults is all of our business
An enjoyable, productive adult life requires a solid foundation in accepting responsibilities, learning and vocations to gain meaningful employment and the proper tools to cope with the ups and downs of life. Out of control teens are no one person’s fault, but no one person has all the tools needed to bring them back to the norm. With tools and skills properly line-up during the teenage years, teens become successful adults prepared to parent the world’s next generation.